McTrollin'
by Carolle Royale
Summary: There are only three things I despise : Essays, rude landladies and trolls. Sadly all three seem to have found a way into my life. "You want to see an ID proof for giving me a cup of coffee?" *16


** Disclaimer : Gakuen Alice does not belong to me.**

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**A/N :** This was originally just a one-shot, but I got carried away so now it's a two shot. Or perhaps a three-shot. Not sure at the moment. I wrote this at 3 am before my Computer exam, haha. I guess this is a bit rusty since I haven't written anything for a while now. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy :)

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_There are only three things I despise : Essays, rude landladies and trolls. Luckily all three seem to have found a way into my life. _  
_ "You want to see an ID proof for giving me a cup of coffee?!"_

* * *

**I**

My life sucks.

No, I'm not being overly dramatic or 'theatrical' as Permy would like to suggest. I'm being practical— I'm being objective.

It all started when Jinno summoned me to his office one day while I was on my way to Le Mercado( an Italian restaurant) for lunch. My morning classes had just gotten over and Hotaru didn't have classes till five in the evening, so we both figured we'd catch up on lunch together. Being in different colleges meant that I couldn't see her as much as I would've liked to. I'd been really distressed over this fact at the beginning of the term since I wasn't used to _not_ seeing her every single say. I mean, the both of us were in the same school since 2nd grade! Suddenly being separated after high school was definitely a big change. It was a really good thing that her college was just a few kilometres away. We could always meet each other during the weekends, but that seldom happened since she has classes during the weekend as well. Taking dual majors can seriously screw one's social life up. I'm so glad that I haven't taken any - well not that I could've taken any even if I _wanted _to. I'm not a genius like Hotaru. Well anyways -getting back to the point.

"Yes, sir?" I inquired as I halted. He was indicating towards his office and motioned for me to follow him. Frowning slightly to myself, I followed him inside the room.

The room was quite large, I noted with genuine surprise. There was a huge desk in the centre and two couches in the far right corner. Several paintings and pictures hung on the wall and I was positive I could smell the fragrance of roses. To say it was weird would definitely be an understatement.

Jinno was already sitting behind the desk, looking through some files.

"How are you, Ms. Sakura?" He asked, not bothering to look up to address me.

My frown deepened. He had called me in here to ask me how I was?! I really wanted to say something incredibly sarcastic and witty back at him, but restrained myself. "I'm fine and dandy, sir." I limited myself to say.

He seemed to be very amused by that. "Dandy, you say?"

"Mid-terms just got over two days ago, sir," I explained trying to be very cautious with my words. I didn't want to upset him in any way. I think it was last month (or was it the month before that?) when I had accidently cussed in front of him. He went completely ballistic and gave me an extra assignment in his subject- Calculus. "I was just about to go out and meet my friend for lunch."

"Mid-terms..."Jinno tapped on his wooden desk with a red metallic pen. "How did you write the papers?"

"I guess I did fine, sir." I answered truthfully, a bit puzzled about where this conversation was going. He wasn't going to give me my results already, was he?

"Fine?"

"Well, I think I screwed up a bit on the Calculus paper." I admitted ruefully. "But other than that, I think I did okay."

Jinno nodded his head absently. "Most of your marks are fair," he informed me as he nonchalantly flipped through the pages of what I presumed to be _my _file which probably contained all my results and essays. He paused momentarily and I swear I saw a smirk creep up his face. "Except for Calculus."

I gulped.

I knew that was coming. It's not as if it were out of the blue or anything. It was expected. I mean, I don't even know the difference between integration and differentiation yet and I've been taking classes for the past four months! So really, I wasn't surprised. I was nervous, yes, I mean, I was basically failing a class in my first semester of college — but I wasn't surprised.

"I know, sir." I muttered meekly as I stared down at the floor. It was a really nice, shiny floor with little glistening things on it. In fact, everything in the room was nice. Except for my file.

And my life.

And Jinno.

"Hmm.." he said, as he put a finger on his chin, contemplating about God knows what. "Hmm."

I swear, he has never looked more evil than he did at that moment.

I gulped once more as I wiped my disgustingly sweaty palms onto my jeans. It was of no use— it became all sweaty within a second. With nothing else to do, I kept fidgeting with the hem of my shirt as I watched Jinno staring intently at my file like it was some sort of porn magazine or something.

"Aah," he murmured for what seemed the hundredth time. "Aaaah."

I was certain he was having an orgasm. That's the only sane explanation I could come up with. I guess my results were orgasm worthy— if that makes any sense.

Any normal person would've taken that as their queue to leave. Because honestly, who the hell would want to see their teacher having an orgasm?! Well, if I were Aria and my English teacher was having an orgasm, I'd totally stay behind and watch. But this is Jinno, I'm talking about. He's not like Ezra from Pretty Little Liars. He's my calculus teacher! (And he's ugly.)

I know I should've left the room. But since I'm a complete moron, I stayed back and asked him the most stupid question on Earth: "Am I failing in Calculus, sir?"

Well, you want to know why the question was stupid? Because I obviously was failing in Calculus! I think my highest score on a test was a 23 out of a 100. Which idiot of a teacher would not fail someone with those kinds of marks?

No one, that's who.

So really, my question was completely and utterly stupid. It was a wonder that Jinno didn't chuck me out of the college premises at that instant. I guess he felt a bit sorry for me, seeing as how I was failing his class and all.

"I'm afraid you are, Sakura." He said solemnly, his voice grave.

My shoulders slouched down and I could feel my eyes tearing up. "Is there anything I can do to get a better grade?" I asked, knowing that it would probably be in vain. There was no way that I could get a better grade. The results had already been finalised and printed.

Jinno put a hand to his chin and thought for a moment. "Well...there is something you can do.." he trailed off.

I instantly perked up that and a smile lit across my face. There was something I could do? Hurrah! Maybe things weren't that bad after all!

"I'm willing to do anything to improve my grade, sir!" I chirped out as I nearly clapped my hands in glee. I wasn't going to fail!

He gave a small chuckle which bordered thinly on the line of extreme sadism. I knew I was going to have to do something extremely horrible but I didn't think it would be what he was going to say.

"I want you to submit your extended essay by next month."

**~(*)~**

"I'm going to _die_."

This is what I said to break the ice to Sumire and Hotaru while we were having lunch at Le Mercado. I had actually been quite surprised to see Sumire waiting idly at a table for both me and Hotaru. I hadn't known that she was invited to this outing today, but she insisted that she was and that I was just being 'forgetful'.

"God. Stop being so theatrical. It's getting on my nerves." Sumire muttered as she flipped through the latest copy of _Playgirl. _ "Ooh, "she murmured as she stopped at a page, her eyes raking over it with a mischievous glint, "Channing Tatum looks so delicious. I could just eat him right now."

"Cannibalism will make you gain extra kilos," Hotaru drawled out. "You should stick with your salad."

Sumire rolled her eyes. "When I meant eat him, I didn't mean it literally."

"You already have a boyfriend." Hotaru pointed out as she took a sip of her iced tea.

Sumire shrugged. "So? That doesn't mean I can't fantasize about extremely _fit _celebrities."

"Stop talking about Channing Tatum when my life is clearly in danger right now!" I snapped viciously.

The pair of them stared at me as if I sprouted an arm from my head.

"Danger?" Hotaru scoffed as she raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Please, I'd hardly even call it a scuffle."

Sumire cackled at that. "It's not as bad as you're making it to be." She said as she popped an olive into her mouth. "It's just an essay."

"It's not just _any_ essay." I told her vehemently, plunging my fork into my alfredo pasta. "It's the _Extended Essay_! It's supposed to be submitted at the end of my 2nd year of college! But he's asking me to submit it now! At the end of the first semester! I'm supposed to have_ 7_ more semesters left to finish this thing!"

Hotaru regarded me with mild amusement dancing in her eyes as I finished my mini-rant. "You should start working on it right now." She said coolly, her lips twitching a bit.

"Or you can just take that failing grade," Sumire added in, what I assume was meant to be assuring.

I sent Sumire a glare.

"What?" She asked as she shrugged once more, "I think you should just take the failing grade. There's no point in killing yourself over with that essay."

"Sea-weed hair has got a point," Hotaru admitted. "You should take the failing grade."

"But I don't want to fail!" I wailed, smashing my pasta the fork.

"Sorry to break this to you hun, but you already did." Sumire drawled out, twirling her hair with the tip of her finger.

I really wanted to pull her hair but instead I banged my head on the table, narrowly missing the tray of food I had placed there. "_Fuck._ I _hate_ Calculus."

"You're an idiot for taking it in the first place." Hotaru replied coolly, not seeming bothered by the fact that I was banging my head on a table. My self-inflicted head injuries probably don't bother her. "Why bother taking Maths when you know that you're rubbish at it?"

"Because...because...I thought it'd make me look smart." I said, my voice a bit muffled since I refused to lift my head up from the table.

Sumire snorted. "Really, Mikan. Who are you even trying to impress?"

_Everyone, _ was what I wanted to say. I was so sick and tired of people thinking of me as some pathetically unintelligent excuse of a human being. Because honestly, whenever people think of me(if they ever think of me at all, that is), they mostly think about how stupid and childish I am and how I think the world is full of rainbows and how the only thing I can do is squeal and how I can't do anything else and...well...the list could probably go on.

Furthermore, it doesn't help having such smart friends. Hotaru was studying at one of the best universities of Japan taking courses I've never even heard about and Sumire was in Med-school. As for me? Well, I'm the girl who took a Journalism major with a Calculus minor. To top it all off, I'm failing my minor.

"I'm...just doing it for myself." I finally told them as I slowly lifted my head from the table.

Sumire was giving me a commiserating look while Hotaru was tapping away on her Android.

"Did he tell you exactly when he wants it to be submitted?" Sumire asked me.

"Next month," I muttered glumly, poking my smashed pasta around the plate. I didn't feel like eating even though I absolutely adore alfredo pasta and I hadn't eaten anything for breakfast.

"Well, you've got 31 days then!" Sumire said happily, clapping her hands for some unknown reason. "It's not as if you have to spend your time worrying about something else. You can just focus on the essay."

"Yeah, I guess." I muttered dejectedly.

"Oh, stop acting like such a baby!"

I gave her my best glare.

Sumire laughed.

Hotaru frowned. "Can you both be quiet? I'm trying to decipher some codes here."

This is why I have an inferiority complex. While my friends are off saving the world (okay, maybe not the world— but they're saving huge IT companies from big losses or/and finding out cures for lung cancer) I'm trying to write an essay.

Yeah. No wonder people think I'm such a little kid.

Sumire rolled her eyes. "Really Imai. Deciphering codes can't really be that hard. I mean, you've taken a solid two years course for algorithms back at the Academy! This should be fairly easy."

Hotaru didn't bother to look up from her phone as she replied, "These codes were generated by one of the CIA's specialists. So shut up and let me figure them out."

I sighed.

This was how I spent the rest of my afternoon : Hotaru scrutinizing a top secret code and Sumire idly reading magazines and occasionally flipping through her pre-med books since she was going to assist in an open-heart surgery at Mercy Hospital a few days later.

And me?

I was sitting at the table with a bowl of pasta, wondering how in the world I was going to write an essay within a month.

Yes. This is my life.

**~(*)~**

I guess my life will never, ever be problem free. Apparently having one huge problem isn't enough for Mikan Sakura. She must have _two _huge problems in her life simultaneously.

That's right.

_Two._

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to move out of this apartment."

Those were the words which nearly made my eyes bulge out of their sockets as I was about to put in the key into the keyhole of my flat. I had just gotten back from my lunch with Hotaru and Sumire and had decided that I'd start working on my essay.

But then I was greeted(more like threatened) by Yura Otanishi, the land lady who owned my apartment.

"Why is that?" I asked her as I turned around. She was standing at her doorway, which was right across my apartment. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she had a no nonsense look etched on her face.

"I've found a tenant who's willing to pay a higher rent than yours," she said simply.

My eyebrows shot up instantly. "Does this new person know how much I'm paying?" I asked her, my lips turning down into a frown.

Yura shook her head. "No, he doesn't. But he's willing to pay the amount I desire. So it'd be best if you moved out."

I blinked.

"Move out?"

She nodded. "Yes. Move out. Find some other place to stay."

"But you can't do that!" I exclaimed, dropping my bag onto the floor and walking towards Yura. "You just can't kick me out because you found someone who's willing to pay more rent than me!"

"Well," she said, her voice terse. "I can."

"No!" I practically screeched as I waved my arms under her nose in a fail attempt to make her see reason. "It's not like I forget to pay the rents or anything! You can't just tell me to go find a new place to stay! What if the rents are higher over there?! I won't be able to pay!"

Yura merely shrugged, a delicate twitch of her shoulders. "Your problems are none of my business. I want you to move out by Friday and that is final."

"But Friday is in two days!"

"I don't care." She said and with that she turned back and slammed her door right in my face.

I stood there, rooted in the middle of the corridor opening and closing my mouth like a psychotic fish.

I thought the worst thing that could happen to me was the Extended Essay. Cleary it isn't. Now I have to find a new place to live as well.

Great.

Just great.

**~(*)~**

Sometimes I truly wonder what sin I've committed in my past life. Seriously. I think I was a dictator or something because honestly, _nobody_ has such shitty luck as I do. Nobody. Well...that is if you weren't a terrorist or a dictator or a child rapist in your previous life. And even if you were one of those in your previous life, I bet your karma wouldn't be half as bad as mine. Because I, Mikan Sakura have the worst luck _ever_..

I swear. I'm not even exaggerating.

My morning started out fine —surprising, I know —but it was absolutely fine. For once in my life, I actually woke up on time and I ate breakfast. Well more like I grabbed a nutri-bar as I pulled on my jacket and headed out of the door. Yura walked out of her apartment as I was locking the door.

My, what lovely timing the lady has.

"The clock is ticking." Is all she said.

"Good morning to you too," I mumbled, my mouth full of granola bar. I straightened my jacket and walked down the stairs. Since I had a half hour before classes started, I decided to grab a coffee from Starbucks and luckily for me there was a Starbucks right next to the apartment.

It took me merely four minutes to get to Starbucks. There weren't that many people there as it was still quite early in the morning and all.

"I'll have one Espresso, please." I told the attendant, who was deeply engrossed with his mobile phone. At the sound of my voice, he looked up from his phone and his eyes bore into mine.

They were red.

Crimson red.

His eyes swept over my face before he rolled his eyes. "Espresso isn't good for little girls. It's bitter. Try the Cappuccino."

I gawked at him. "Excuse me?" I sputtered, still in shock. "What did you just say?"

He rolled his eyes once more and a look of utter boredom spread across his features. "I told you to try the Cappuccino instead of the Espresso."

"I wasn't asking you for any suggestions!" I snapped. "Now I'd like one cup of Espresso, please."

"With all due respect Miss, I'm not allowed to serve Espresso to fourteen year olds." He told me brusquely, before starting to text again.

My jaw dropped and I could feel the blood boiling under my veins. I walked a bit closer to him and snatched his phone out his hands. He let out a grunt of protest. "I want my espresso right now!" I demanded.

The guy looked annoyed. "Give me back my phone," he said lowly, his voice had a threatening edge to it.

"I want my coffee first!"

"I told you, I'm not allowed to serve Espresso to fourteen year olds!"

I gritted my teeth and clenched his phone, a shiny new iPhone 5 in my hand. "I'm not 14," I hissed, "I'm flippin' 19! Now give me my coffee!"

The guy didn't even batter an eyelash. "I'll have to see ID proof for that." He said solemnly, his lips quirking up a bit.

I scoffed. "You want to see ID proof for giving me a mere cup of coffee?!" I asked, sceptically. "It's not as if I'm asking for liquor!"

He shrugged. "It's a policy."

"No, it's not. " I retorted. "I come here every day and every day, I order an Espresso. And I get it without having to show ID proof."

"Well, too bad. I don't give lunatics Espresso. They'll become even more barmy."

Now that was the last straw. "I'm not a lunatic!" I screeched out, causing the nearby customers to swivel their heads in my direction. "Give me my bloody Espresso now!"

"I'd like to have my phone back first," he calmly told me not seeming to care that at least five people were staring at the pair of us.

I thrusted it back into his hands. "There, now give me the Espresso."

He brought up a hand to his chin and thought for a moment as if he were contemplating about a very serious issue. "How about you try the Americano instead? It's less bitter."

"I can handle the bitterness!" I explained tiredly. "I'm telling you, I want an Espresso!"

"And I'm telling you that I can't give you an Espresso without you showing me some sort of identity proof."

"Fuck you!" I said, exasperated by where this conversation was going. Couldn't a girl get a coffee in peace?! "I've had a rubbish night and I really really need an Espresso right now. Plus, I have to get to College in less than-" I checked my watch"-20 minutes! So please, just give me the Espresso."

He smirked. "I'll give you the Espresso."

"Finally!" I muttered, opening my purse to give him the money.

"But I want to see an Identity Proof."

I nearly face palmed myself. This conversation was going in circles.

"You know what? Here! This is my College name card," I said, as I fished out my card and handed it to him. "It has my age written on the back. Happy?"

He took the card and inspected it briefly. "For all I know, this could be fake." He replied, his lips curved up in a smirk.

"You wanted an ID proof and I gave you one!" I exclaimed, "This is cheating!"

The guy just shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "How about a Cappuccino?" He smirked, knowing that he had hit a nerve.

I bit my lips and took in a deep breathe. There was no point in arguing with this idiotic, annoying, stubborn troll. He wasn't going to give me my Espresso. The bastard.

"Yes," I said, my voice dripped with venom. "I'd like a Cappuccino, please."

He nodded, still smirking. "That will be 150 yen."

I got out the money from my purse and handed it to him. He put it in the cashier and handed me the bill and then went to the Coffee maker. I saw him pressing the Cappuccino button.

I scowled.

Oh. He was so going to pay.

"Here's your Cappuccino," he said, handing the vile, sweet liquid to me. I could feel my insides puking at the mere thought of drinking coffee which wasn't an Espresso.

I took the cup he gave me reluctantly and then I gave him one of my fake smiles. "Thank you," I said sweetly. "Could you please hand me a napkin?"

He rolled his eyes and gave me a napkin. I leaned over the counter to get it and slightly titled my cup...

So all the Cappuccino...fell..

On him.

"Holy fuck!" He hissed, grabbing napkins frantically and dabbing it on his white Starbucks uniform. "You fuckin' did that on purpose!"

"I'd like to have an Espresso, please." A man beside me ordered.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm drenched in Cappuccino, " red eyes hissed to the customer. I tried not to laugh, but it was a fail. He glared at me. "You stupid bitch."

"Oh, look at that!" I exclaimed pointing at my watch. "My classes start in 5! I need to go! Thanks for the Cappuccino!" I exclaimed as I turned around towards the exit.

I could feel his glares penetrating into my back but that made me laugh only harder. Even though I didn't have a single drop of Espresso which was my life and soul, I was grinning like a fool as I walked down the street, all thoughts of the Extended Essay and apartment issues momentarily forgotten.

That stupid git! Asking for ID proof for ordering a cup of coffee.

Psh.

What a troll.

**~(*)~**

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Hehe. That actually happened to me! I walked into this coffee shop and ordered an espresso and the guy refused to give it to me because he thought that I couldn't 'handle' the bitterness. I was just like dafuqqq because I always have an Espresso! But yeah, in the end he did give me the Espresso so all was fine. :)

Reviews would be lovely. :)

**Carolle Royale**


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